Quiet the Doubt, Build the Confidence
Quiet the Doubt, Build the Confidence
How to Believe in Yourself (Even If You’re Not There Yet).
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Beginner’s guide checklist,
Monthly planning worksheets,
Weekly planning worksheets,
and more!
These steps are all covered in this comprehensive checklist!
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Let’s be real for a sec—building confidence can feel a lot like trying to stick to a new habit. One day you're crushing it, and the next, you’re standing in front of the mirror wondering who gave you the audacity to think you could pull this off. Been there. Done that. Still go there sometimes.
Self-doubt is sneaky like that. It shows up when you’re about to speak up in a meeting, try something new, or even just wear that bold lipstick you’ve had forever but never touched. But here’s the good news: confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build. Step by step. Day by day. And yes, you can absolutely build it. Even if right now you’re second-guessing everything.
In this post, we’re going to talk about where that self-doubt comes from (spoiler alert: it’s not your fault), how to gently shut it down, and the exact steps you can start taking today to feel more confident in your life, your choices, and yourself.
And while we’re at it? Confidence isn’t just about speaking on stage or chasing big dreams. It’s also about feeling good in your body and trusting yourself to make decisions that support your health. That’s why I’m linking my Beginner’s Meal Planner Guide below. It’s a simple, no-pressure way to practice confidence and self-care at the same time.
Let’s do this together.
Understanding Self-Doubt
Okay, so let’s talk about that little voice in your head. The one that pipes up with, “Are you sure you can do this?” right when you’re about to try something new. That voice? That’s self-doubt. And while it can feel like it’s protecting you from embarrassment or failure, it’s really just fear in a clever disguise.
Self-doubt usually starts showing up after years of subtle messaging. Maybe someone once told you you weren’t good enough. Maybe you grew up in an environment where perfection was the bare minimum. Or maybe you’ve just hit enough bumps in the road that now your brain’s like, “Let’s not take any more risks, okay?” Totally normal. Totally human.
According to psychologist Dr. Melanie Greenberg, self-doubt often stems from early life experiences, social comparison, or chronic stress. It’s the mind’s way of saying, “I don’t want you to get hurt,” but it can seriously hold us back from growing and showing up fully in our lives.
And guess what? Even the most confident-looking people struggle with this. We just don’t always see their behind-the-scenes pep talks or the times they wanted to run in the opposite direction of their goals.
The key isn’t to eliminate self-doubt (that’s not really possible, and honestly, a little doubt can keep us humble). The real trick is to recognize it for what it is: a temporary feeling, not a truth. When you name it, you can tame it. And once you realize it’s just your inner critic trying to keep you in your comfort zone, you get to decide whether or not you want to listen.
Spoiler alert: You don’t have to.
Why Building Confidence Matters
Here’s the thing about confidence: it’s not just about walking into a room like you own it (though yes, we love that energy). It’s about the quiet moments, too. The way you speak to yourself when you mess up. The decisions you make when no one’s watching. The way you show up for your goals, even when you’re nervous.
Confidence gives you the permission slip to take up space. And not just physical space, emotional space, creative space, or dream-big space.
Studies show that higher self-confidence is linked to greater resilience, better mental health, and even improved performance at work or school. According to the American Psychological Association, confidence can help us handle stress more effectively and bounce back faster from challenges. It’s basically an emotional muscle. And the stronger it gets, the more we’re able to try new things, take risks, and recover when things don’t go as planned.
But let’s keep it real. Confidence isn’t about pretending you’ve got it all figured out. It’s about trusting yourself to figure it out as you go. And that mindset shift? It changes everything.
When you start building your confidence, you naturally start showing up in other areas of your life differently. Maybe you try that healthy recipe you’ve been curious about, speak up in a tough conversation, or finally say yes to a new opportunity. It’s all connected.
Confidence gives you the freedom to say, “I may not know exactly how this will go, but I believe in myself enough to try.”
And that, my friend, is where the magic begins.
Practical Ways to Build Confidence
Now that we know why confidence is such a game-changer, let’s talk about how to build it, especially when self-doubt is trying to steal the show. These strategies aren’t one-size-fits-all, but they’re gentle, practical, and totally doable, even on your low-energy days.
1. Practice Positive Self-Talk (No More Being Mean to Yourself!)
We all have an inner narrator. The question is: is yours hyping you up or holding you back?
When that critical voice pops up with “You’re not good enough,” try flipping the script. Instead, say: “This is hard, but I’m learning,” or “I’ve done hard things before. I can do this too.”
2. Celebrate Small Wins (Yes, Even the Teeny Ones)
Confidence grows from consistent action. Celebrating your progress, no matter how tiny, trains your brain to recognize success.
Try this: at the end of the day, write down one thing you did well. Just one. That’s your win. Maybe you drank more water. Maybe you sent that email you were putting off. It all counts!
3. Set Rejection Goals (Hear me out, this one’s wildly empowering)
Here’s a curveball: what if you aimed to get rejected... on purpose?
This tactic, known as “rejection therapy,” helps desensitize you to fear and makes you bolder over time. The idea is that by getting comfortable with hearing “no,” you stop letting it define your worth.
4. Surround Yourself with Uplifting People
The people around you matter more than you think. If your inner circle constantly second-guesses or downplays your efforts, it can quietly chip away at your confidence.
On the flip side, being around people who cheer you on and believe in you can boost your self-esteem, help you take more healthy risks, and remind you of your strengths when you forget them.
You’re not meant to do this alone. Community matters.
5. Visualize Your Wins
Visualization isn’t just fluffy “manifest it” talk. It’s actually a tool used by athletes, public speakers, and CEOs to prepare mentally for success. When you vividly imagine yourself succeeding, your brain starts to build confidence in your ability to actually do it.
Close your eyes and picture yourself doing the thing you’re scared of: speaking up, applying for something, showing up for your goals. Make the image clear, strong, and real.
It works because your brain interprets mental rehearsal almost the same way as physical practice. Wild, right?
Let Go of the Perfectionism Trap
Let’s talk about perfectionism for a sec. The sneaky little thief of joy that whispers, “If it’s not perfect, it’s not worth doing.” Spoiler: that voice is a liar.
Perfectionism is one of the biggest confidence blockers out there. It convinces us that if we can’t do something flawlessly the first time, then we shouldn’t even try. And you know what that leads to? Procrastination, self-doubt, and that awful stuck feeling.
Here’s the truth: confidence isn’t built in the perfect moments. It’s built in the messy, awkward, try-fail-try-again moments. It’s built when you show up, even if your voice shakes, even if you don’t have all the answers, even if you make mistakes. Especially when you make mistakes.
So if you’re holding off on launching that idea, trying that recipe, or downloading that meal planner because you’re worried you won’t get it right, just breathe. Progress over perfection. Always.
Repeat after me: Done is better than perfect. Starting is better than waiting. Imperfect is still worthy.
You’re not here to be perfect. You’re here to grow. And growth gets messy, on purpose.
When to Seek Support
Just in case no one has ever told you this: you don’t have to do this confidence-building thing all on your own.
Sometimes, self-doubt goes deeper than pep talks and journaling. If it’s been holding you back for a while, if you’re constantly feeling “not good enough,” or if it’s messing with your mental health, it might be time to bring in some backup.
Talking to a therapist, counselor, or coach isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a power move. These are trained professionals who can help you unpack where that self-doubt is coming from and guide you through it with tools that are tailored to you.
And if you’ve ever felt like a total fraud, like you’re one step away from being “found out,” you’re not alone. That feeling has a name: impostor syndrome. It’s super common, especially among women, high-achievers, and people trying something new. The good news? It’s totally manageable with the right support.
Asking for help doesn’t make you less capable. It makes you brave. It means you’re taking your growth seriously. And that’s something to be incredibly proud of.
So whether it’s opening up to a trusted friend, finding a support group, or booking a session with a therapist, you deserve support. And you’re worth every bit of it.
If no one has told you this today, let me be the one to say it: you are doing better than you think. Confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It’s about trusting yourself a little more each day, even when that doubtful voice gets loud.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to take one small, brave step forward. And then another. And then another. That’s how confidence is built, quietly, imperfectly, and consistently.
So whether your next step is speaking up, applying for something big, or simply taking better care of your body and mind, you’re already on your way.
Need a gentle place to start?
I’ve put together a free Beginner’s Meal Planner Guide to help you feel more confident in your daily choices. It’s super simple, totally doable, and created with love to help you feel more in control of your health (without any stressy vibes).
Download it below and start showing up for yourself in a new way, because you are worth it.
